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The Wedding Band

I’m not the classical female who dreams about her wedding day and may even go forward to plan every segment of the event to the last T, without even meeting the dream guy.

One time, I was in a conversation with a friend and was enthusiastically talking about my hopes for the future.

When I ended, he commented, “In all of these you didn’t mention marriage.”

“Oh,” I responded, slightly taken aback.

All of that notwithstanding, I have a secret fantasy.

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I obsess about my future wedding band. You may catch me staring intently at my left hand. Most times, I envision a beautiful ring resting on my fourth finger. And sometimes, I actually wear a ring in private and admire my hands in a mirror. I have even thought about purchasing a ring to sate that desire but that would be moving ahead of myself.

Future hubby, if you are reading this, please save for the ring and make it a pretty one.

Before I get overtaken by mushy feelings, which are not the dominant part of me and definitely not the reason for this post, I better get along already.

I remember a certain time while growing up, the women arm of my church were having their week and made a drama presentation.

The drama featured a judge and defendants. The judge was the women leader while the defendants were the married men in the church. You were guilty if you were married and not wearing your wedding ring, and innocent if you were married and wearing your wedding ring. The tale went on to sue the men who were guilty; they paid an agreed sum as the fine for their offence.

I do not remember the percentage of the men who were guilty and those who were innocent, but the tale left a strong impression on my mind.

Some persons wear their wedding ring only in the first few months/years of their married lives and live the rest without paying as much attention to the importance of the wedding band.

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For some, the brilliance of the band faded or it was outgrown. For some others, theirs was stolen or got misplaced and was never replaced. And yet still others do not wear theirs for no good reason. Their thinking could be, “Everybody knows I’m married.” Or for some women, “I look married and have children. So, what’s the need?” Maybe persons with the first thinking pattern need a mind reset, “Not everyone knows you are married.” And the second perhaps, “It’s more than how you look or if you have children.”

I admire married persons who wear their wedding bands. For me, the cutest thing on their hands is their wedding band.

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For the men, it communicates, “Out of bounds.” The women get me thinking, “Someone is admiring her full time. How cool is that?

More than anything, the wedding band is a symbol of union and as such a reminder of same; wearing your wedding band puts you in constant remembrance of your significant other. You find some married folks toying with their wedding bands when they are thinking about their spouse, either fondly or decisively. You also notice some married persons take off their wedding bands when they want to disconnect from their significant other. Except in the case of death, the latter act is a cause for alarm.

Are there (wo)men who flirt/cheat even with their wedding bands on? Yes, there are and it is sad.

“Honor the sanctity of marriage and keep your vows of purity to one another, for God will judge sexual immorality in any form, whether single or married.” – Hebrews 13: 4, The Passion Translation

What do you think about the wedding band? Do you think it is important to wear it as a married person or it is just another jewelry and marriage is more in the heart than on the finger? I would love to hear your thoughts on this.

Love,

Annie.

 

By annieejiofor

Hello. I'm Annie, a Nigerian, medical doctor, IELTS coach, freelance editor and the voice behind the writing.

I blog about life within and without medicine and other lifestyle topics like books, travel and helpful advice for medical professionals.

13 replies on “The Wedding Band”

I strongly believe these things are symbols – they are ultimately what the bearer decides to make of them.

I do think – instead of asking him to ‘slave and making it a pretty one’, why don’t you join money to his and make a winner?

I’m. Just. Saying.

Schweet.

Liked by 1 person

I know, right? Thanks for reading and leaving a thoughtful comment, Seun!

Yes, I thought about that and do have a contributory mindset, but you know, he may want to make it a surprise. I also don’t know how he may feel about accompanying him to choose a ring we both like. Now that I think of it that’s sweet. Meaning he could propose without the ring. Haha. I look forward to saving up for my wedding to support the expenses. 😊

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I also fantasize about my dream band lol! Thinking about it now i was joking with my partner that I’d get him an engagement band after He puts a ring on my finger. I can’t be the only one wearing a band… yes it’s that important to me 🙈

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The wedding band is symbolic, it isn’t merely a fashion accessory.

Most people love it, which is why newly engaged/married couples proudly wear(and flaunt) their bands for all to see— We all have our wedding band fantasies. Albeit, fantasy is fleeting.
It’s an understanding of its ‘deep’ significance that would make one cherish it for life.

As you have noted, various reasons account for why people(especially men) do not wear their bands often.

For a lot of people, the wedding band is meant primarily as an “Out of bound. Keep Off” ensign. Which is why some don’t bother wearing it when they begin to ‘look married’, or are are advancing in age.
This ought not to be so.

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Thank you, Onyx, for your detailed comment.

I will keep these words in mind, “fantasy is fleeting. It’s an understanding of its ‘deep’ significance that would make one cherish it for life.”

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Lol… This is something I always think about. I don’t want a conventional symbol, which is what a ring is, I’d rather have something more unusual…something unique to this union. I don’t know what that is yet though. 😂

Liked by 1 person

Wedding Bands – a cute love symbol of togetherness. I think that we should not judge whether its important to wear or take it as a jewelry. I would rather think it to be a unanimous decision of the couple to wear it or keep it.
I would definitely love to wear it, as it will make me feel that he is always with me. But I will never force my love to put the wedding band on his finger. It will be his choice.

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I actually never think of the wedding bands and this is probably because my parents don’t wear theirs, and they still love each other.
I look at them as a symbol, and one can people can do without, but still, I believe it’d be really cute to have a beautiful one for myself when the time comes.
PS. I absolutely love your writing, it’s beautiful!!

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